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Where There Used To Be Meaning

by Dugout

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1.
R1O-PS 01:16
2.
Sudden Death In Pennsylvania well i woke up today to my girlfriend becoming my ex, grabbed her shit and then just left. the more i think of it, it’s probably for the best. i’m not upset with this ice in my chest, the brick in my head, the lack of regret. just lay it out on me, you act like i cant take it. what a day, calling me. you act like nothing’s changed. i’m a liar, you should know this. and every fucking inch of me is all to blame. i just cant see myself falling for anyone again. no metaphors or anecdotes can explain it just like this. i don’t hold you both to anything cause karma acts quick. i stick by the words i said when me and you gave up. the least you could’ve done was give me some form of a heads up. and oh what did i just say about getting too close to me? i’ve told you to watch your step cause i’ll let you down again. and after all what your friends said about letting me back in i’m honestly the least honest thing that you could ever think to get, and for that i’m sorry.
3.
100 Proof 03:10
100 PROOF 1:36 in the morning and the december nights and the keystone pine are just boring the hell out of me, not even going to try to watch tv. cause the only on our shows i’ve watched with you down a couple of forties and 100 proof cause man i’ve had the worst case of writers block all week. i’m just not creative as i used to be. just shut the fuck up and leave. and nothing beats a fucking bitter angry love song. the kind that makes you think, really think, about all the shit you put certain people through. yeah you, i’m talking about you. whats new? and i hope you take a nap in a full drawn bath with a fucking toaster tied around your neck or something along the lines of having nothing at all to do with you, like i don’t know what your up to. so go ahead and get lost and try to be someone your not cause you got it right when you said i know you better than most i learned from the bad days, found out in the worst ways. don’t take this personal, three years gone and the only good you’ve done is become good song material.
4.
Shame 02:02
SHAME i took a walk in the snow to kill off what was in my head but it kept strong until my eyes grew weak and made me go to bed. i’ve had my share of fucking chances, but the endings stayed the same. too dumb to realize all i need was staring right at me. and if i clean up everything, would you come running back to me cause i cant take another week. and i cant help but think what a loss it is to me, just knowing what i had this whole time is a shame. waking up to a song i left on repeat when i was drunk and my bed just seems to big for me now that i’m the only one. i’d like to call and say “come over”, we’ll lay down and watch tv and catch up on all the shows we missed and probably just fall asleep.
5.
JAMIE just like you said, you went and never came back in your head you did but i could see through the steps. our friends said that you could never change like that but three years have passed and they all noticed last another day, remember when we hung all winter break everyday i’d see my best friends face. now i barely even hear their names if this is getting old than i’ll start digging my grave a little earlier than originally planned. and now im waiting, but i’m already wasted. like the days you spent away, and all the nights i’ve layed awake. and so they’ll say, i’ll never make and honest man, an honest pay. the more distant i am, the more at home i feel again and we’ll be going on and on til this conversations dead. cause i’ve already been awake since 6am, looking at the pictures when we were all just kids. and i still drive down familiar places on my way home from the bar thinking how long that its been. how pathetic that i am. and lately the only way ive been writing anything, is a couple whiskey deeps and my own company so bring on the sun and let my pupils adjust depressions not leaving, its only just begun and oh my god im the voicemail on you phone, asking you to please please please come back home. So i’ll just sink into my bed, a fucking pillow over my face, and if you want im here for you to use, ill be the best excuse for you chew and spit it out whenever you think your done. Im just a name in your head. Just asking how have you been Im still a name in your head. Just tell me how have you been
6.
Alone In The Company of Others its so nice out. why aren’t you around id rather you be here than hanging out with him. then you could see this winter sky unfold, the stars shine so much brighter when its this cold, but your not home. i’m sorry, i should’ve been there more. i was scared, tired, and lonely but from what i hear is that you’re doing well without me. so i’ll just sink from lack of progress and deny myself to feel anything at all. and lately i’ve been so alone in the company of others that there’s no point in going out anymore. i’ll just stay at home. i wish i showed that i loved you more. why can’t i wake up? its so nice out. why arent you around? the stars shine so much brighter when its this cold.
7.
HINDSIGHT this is the first time in years that i’ve longed for the fall , the smell of the fires, the feeling of cold, the sense of remembering that i was alone when i wished i meant to you just how you always meant to me. its gone forever, this feeling always sinking deeper and I vomit, my head spins. what’s a home when everyone who made it one is gone? to whoever it may concern, nostalgias taking it’s turn i’m having trouble breaking into something real. and i’ll risk it all, for a fleeting glimpse of when i felt ten feet tall. so let me tell you where i’m at. i’m at a point where moving forward means that i’m looking back. is this what you want from me? i’ll take these memories, scattered in the corners of my room. i want to remember how to forget that we’ll never get these days back. so here i am i’m stuck i’m fucking trapped.
8.
Distance 02:59
DISTANCE this december rain is falling on my face just like it did back then there was a moment when i thought of you so innocent. stood up every time i heard your name. dropped everything to wait. you couldn’t bring yourself to say. as if it mattered anyway. you said it’s all in my head like i don’t know where you’ve been cause i saw you with him. just for a second be honest. and everything that i did, the fucking length that i went, just to show what it meant. at least you’ve finally been honest now. falling over again, over shit that you said. hoping that you never meant it. you wonder why i became so distant. and if you look at me, right on the back of my sleeve there’s a blank heart shaped spot where there used to be meaning.

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released March 21, 2014

released 03 March 21st 2014
Recorded & Mixed by Bruce Wiegner @ Overlook Studios.
Mastered by Bill Henderson @ Azimuth Mastering.
Artwork & Layout by Colin Shawcross.

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Dugout Lansdale, Pennsylvania

"WHERE THERE USED TO BE MEANING"
AVAILABLE MARCH 21ST!

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